Lost in Traslation

While sitting down to Thanksgiving Dinner with some of our dear local friends, there were times when conversation became interesting, due to translation discrepancies. Almost every guest spoke English to some degree, but when people fluent in our language started speaking too quickly, a glazed look came over the eyes of those not able to translate the conversation fast enough. When anybody noticed this happening, someone would quickly give a synopsis to the person needing it, and the conversation would resume. When not speaking in English, our friends would speak in Russian since I could pick through the conversation a little bit. Well towards the end of the night our friend Nune picked up my oven mitts and had them on both her hands, saying they made a good accessory to her outfit. Well her husband Ashot, starts joking that the reson Nune was wearing them was because she had frozen her hands off in the Nagorno-Karabakh war. Well, I was not able to quite follow his story since he was using both Russian and English words. So I asked him to repeat it slower, and what I heard was,  "When Nune was in Nagorno-Karabakh, she was a prostitute..."

I interrupted and said, "Wait Ashot, what did you say? You said Nune was a prostitute?"

He responded, "Da, Nune was prostitute."

I turned to Nune and said, "Nune, I think that I am not understanding Ashot. He just said that you were a prostitute."

She got so mad and said something in either Russian or Armenian. It was so fast I couldn't make out any definite words. Ashot just started LAUGHING! He laughed for a good minute before he was able reply to Nune that he was trying to say that she had frozen her hands off. The Russian word is: [spelled phonetically] "prost-ood-its-ya." Ashot, Jared and I thought the mix up was hysterical! Nune? Not so much.

Racist Dog

Van's puppy, Pepper, is a racist. At first I thought that maybe there was a little too much inbreeding going on in the poodle population here in Armenia. He was just not a normal puppy. He refused to cuddle. From Day one. He would tolerate being held for a certain amount of time, then he would go off and sit by himself. I tried countless times to get him to come watch a movie with us. He would end up on the opposite side of the couch. And don't even get me started on potty training... So during our Thanksgiving Dinner a few weeks ago, my friend mentioned that her Aunt had a little black poodle that she loved very much, and it had just passed away. I jokingly asked if she wanted a new one. Well turns out - she did! The woman is disabled, and dogs really help her. So my friend offered to take Pepper off our hands to help her Aunt. I was hesitant because I didn't want to give such a flawed Dog to someone with disabilities. She assured me that her Aunt was fully capable of handling him. We sat down and talked to Van. It was surprisingly easy to convince Van to give his dog away. We talked about her disabilities, and the fact that we are unable to be with Pepper all day, since I am working, and that this woman would be able to love him the way he wanted to be loved. He agreed in less than 4 minutes!! The morning we parted with Pepper, we went to the market and picked out the most beautiful Siamese Kitten. (More on that later) When our friend came to pick up Pepper, Van and Ava barely noticed. They each gave him a hug, and without any tears shed, waved as he was driven away! I talked to my friend toady to see how Pepper was doing. She said he is a perfect Dog and doesn't do ANYTHING like what I had described to her. He goes to the door when he needs to potty, sits with them on the couch, and generally behaves like a normal dog should. I am convinced it is because they are Armenian... Maybe he didn't understand English. Or maybe he really is racist.

Nightmare bugs

Last night Van told me that he doesn't sleep with his lamp on because he's scarred, he sleeps with it on because the light from his lamp kills nightmare bugs. Fair enough.

Stinky

This morning while getting Ava ready for preschool Jared told her, "You are so stinkin cute!" She replied, "Daddy, I'm not 'stinkin' I'm just cute."

Conversation with Ava's pre-school teacher

There are a lot of interesting beliefs here in Armenia. To list a few, they believe that pregnant women should never swim because they will drown their babies; the believe that if you shave a little girls head when she is 3, her hair will grow in thicker and shinier (so you see a lot of bald little girls in the summer time); they believe that sweating causes the flu, and that being cold actually causes the common cold.

Yesterday, when I picked Ava up from pre-school I started talking to her teacher about all the wonderful things the children learned that day. They had a guest speaker come in to talk to them about germs! Ava learned that germs cause sickness. She learned that she should cover her mouth with a tissue when she coughed, and to wash her hands. Important stuff. After her teacher was done recapping the high points of the day, she noticed that Van was not with me. She asked about him, and I replied that he was home sick.

"What is wrong with him?" she asked.
"He has been throwing up," I answered.
"Maybe he ate something bad?" she asked
"No, It has been going on for 2 days, I think he just caught a bug," I replied.
Her response, "Oh, well he probably just got too cold and that is why he is sick."  

Really? REALLY? Did you not listen with your pre-school kids about germs? *Bang head here....